


The Clone

by Pandastuff101



Category: Dan Howell - Fandom, Phandom, Phil Lester - Fandom
Genre: DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, M/M, SHIT WHAT HAVE I DONE, Youtuber - Freeform, dancest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-14 17:34:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10541244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandastuff101/pseuds/Pandastuff101
Summary: When Phil asks Dan to help out with his new video, the last thing Dan ever thinks he'll get out of the bargain is a CLONE.It's Dancest.I couldn't help myself.





	1. Chapter 1

"Dan, have you seen my socks?" Phil called from his bathroom. A mountain of clothes was being slowly formed at his door as Phil searched for said socks. Dan rolled his eyes.

"Which one of your weird pairs are you looking for now?"

Phil stuck his head around the doorframe, grinning.

"The ones with the unicorn knitted on them. I want to show them in my new video."

Dan pointed to the top of the pile, where the socks were lying in plain sight. Phil grabbed at them eagerly.

"What's the video about?" Dan asked curiously.

Phil's face lit up, "SCIENCE! Do you want to collab?"

Dan got an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach, a bad one. He hesitated, but Phil's energy was infectious.

"Okay, fine." he sighed.

Three hours later, Phil was piling their kitchen table with a bunch of supplies Dan had never seen before.

"Borax? Chemical X? What the hell are you making?" he tried to laugh it off, but the pit in his stomach hadn't yet gone away.

Phil grinned, "You'll see."

They positioned the camera, and pressed record.

"Hello Dan and Phil buddies! Today we are going to do science!" Phil gesticulated, so widely he almost hit Dan in the face, "Sorry." he apologized with a laugh.

"What are we sciencing up today, Phil?" Dan questioned, genuinely curious because Phil refused to tell him what they were doing.

Phil snapped his fingers, "Today we are making clones!!"

Dan laughed. Then he saw Phil reaching for the ingredients, and realized his friend was deadly serious.

Dan bit his lip, eyes wide.

"Pardon?"

Phil hmmd in agreement, smiling up at the camera.

"First, you take your Cuban and mix it with a teaspoon of vinegar." he did as such, and the mixture fizzled.

Dan jumped back, "Ooh, that fizzles."

"That's right, Dan! Which is why it's always important to have safety goggles!" Phil pulled the safety glasses seemingly out of thin air, and handed a pair to Dan. He didn't hesitate to put them on.

"Mix that with the Borax, Chemical X, and grab some of DNA."

Phil took a plastic bag filled with snippets of dark hair, and shook it at the camera. Dan touched the nape of his neck, and realized that it was hairless.

"Phil?!? Did you cut of my hair?" he protested anxiously.

Phil winked, and stirred the mixture. The spoon dissolved into it, and he tossed what was left of the plastic handle aside. Next, he took out a vat of what looked like blue hair gel.

"Now you take your mixture and pour it into Gel #43675, which I'm afraid you won't be able to get anywhere else. It's very special because the company screwed up while making it!" Phil raised his arms and shrugged, "Sorry!"

Dan's eyes were wide, and he was paralyzed to the spot.

"Crap! Phil! I don't want a clone!"

Phil seemed oblivious to his pleas, and poured the mixture into the vat. It bubbled, and then slowly sank into the gel. A pulsing light grew inside of it, and Dan gulped.

It didn't take long, maybe a few minutes or so, before there was a disturbance at the surface of the gel. Something pressed against it, jabbing a few times before it broke through.

Fingers.

_Dan's fingers._

He raised his trembling hand to his mouth, silently screaming. Phil leaned back against the counter, looking satisfied.

The head came next, yawning and covered with blue slime. Then the (thankfully somehow clothed?) torso, and Dan's legs. He had to wonder how the clone had fit into such a small bucket, but deemed that question as the least of his concerns.

The figure stepped out of the bucket, slime oozing down it's form and onto Dan and Phil's clean kitchen floor. It smiled.

"Hello world," said the clone, raising a hand, "I'm _Dan The Improved._ "

Dan, the real Dan, blinked.

"Isn't it supposed to be 2.0 or something?"

The clone shook his head, "That's so cliched. _DanThe Improved_ sounds better better, but you can call me," he winked at Dan himself, "well, you know what."

(daddy)

Phil whistled as heat rushed up to Dan's face. He put his hand on Phil's shoulder, steering his friend out of the room.

"Phil what the fuck is happening?? Where did you get that clone recipe??" Dan asked in a panic.

Phil raised his hands appeasingly, "I just noticed that you've been awful lonely lately-"

"SO I DISCOVERED HAMILTON AND I'VE BEEN SPENDING HOURS EVERYDAY RELISTENING TO BURN ON REPLAY? THAT DOESN'T MEAN I WANT A CLONE!" Dan screamed.

Phil shrank back, and Dan immediately regretted the venom in his words.

"It was all I could think of at the time!" Phil said as a meek defense, "Plus, this way I can have two Dans! One of you can listen to Hamilton or go shopping and the other can hang out with me! It will work!"

Dan's hands dropped to his side, "Phil, you did this because you were lonely?"

He nodded sadly, and Dan pulled him in for a hug.

"C'mon, let's go meet _Dan The Improved._ "

Phil snorted, but nodded, "Thanks Dan."

They went back to the kitchen where _DanThe Improved_ was waiting. He was eating an apple almost as loudly as possible.

Dan pulled up a chair. He had a feeling this conversation was going get to weird to be standing.

_DanThe Improved_ took another bite of his apple, and winked at Dan.

"Tell us about yourself, DTI!" Phil suggested eagerly.

DTI shrugged, "I guess I'm a lot like Dan, but improved because I got to skip all the awkward teen years."

Dan whimpered and Phil rubbed his back. His teen years made him interesting...

"We have a couch if you'd like to sleep on it!" Phil suggested, "No spare room, though."

"But-"

"No _spare_ room." Phil almost growled.

"Can I just sleep with you?" DTI asked Dan, sliding up to where he was sitting.

"What!? N-NO!" 

"Of course you can!" Phil interrupted Dan lazily, "He's your clone. You'll be fine."

Dan was left with his jaw hanging low as Phil and _Dan The Improved_ linked arms and, quite literally, _skipped_ out of the room.

I don't skip...Dan thought numbly.

From the other room he heard exclamations of glee as Phil and DTI jumped on his bed. That knocked Dan out of his stupor, and he rushed to his room.

"YOU ARE COVERED IN SLIME! GET OFF! OFF!" he roared.

Shocked, they both slid off. Dan stared in horror at his ruined covers.

"Go. Take a shower, and then you can clean up this-this mess. Agh! Phil! This is all your fault!" Dan whined, gesturing to his bed.

Phil scowled, and DTI mimicked the expression.

"I don't know _how_ to take a shower. I was born literally fifteen minutes ago." he cocked his head expectantly to Phil.

"Congratulations!" Phil clapped happily, and DTI bowed.

"What am I supposed to do about that?" Dan said, bringing the conversation back to whatever track would get his flat cleaned up the fastest.

"Stop being a stickler, Dan, and just help him take a shower."

Dan spluttered, but Phil glared at him again.

"Clothes on. I'm not touching you. I will show you how it works, you will try not to slip and crack your thick skull." Dan scowled.

DTI nodded, and followed Dan to the bathroom.

Dan pulled the shower curtain back, and told DTI to step inside. He did, fully clothed like Dan had ordered. He looked around at his surroundings curiously, knocking the soap from it's stand. It kept slipping out of DTI's hands as he tried to grab it, so Dan had to do it for him with a resigned sigh.

"Okay, you turn on the water like this." 

Dan did so, and DTI jumped with a gasp.

"Sorry, sorry!" Dan muttered, turning the water to warm, "Stand here for awhile, rub your arms and legs and try to stay inside the shower until all the blue stuff has washed off. Then turn the handle thingy, got it?"

_Dan The Improved_  nodded, and Dan closed the curtain on him. 

Dan retreated back to his room, unable to look Phil in the eye. He sat in his closet, since his bed was covered it gel. He closed his eyes, and let Phillipa Soo's voice wash over him. 

He didn't count how many times he listened to _Helpless,_ but soon Phil was frantically knocking on his closet door. Dan pulled of his headphones, displeased at having been interrupted in the middle of his jam.

"What?"

"He's been in there for half an hour, can you see if he's alright?" Phil asked, hands fidgeting.

Dan sighed, but stood up. He followed Phil to the bathroom door.

"I'll wait here."

"That's helpful," Dan replied sarcastically.

He entered the bathroom. It was full of thick steam, and he could barely see in front of him. Sure enough, the water was still running. DTI was sitting on the floor of the shower, shivering violently as the water hit him. He looked so pathetic that Dan's heart softened. He turned of the water, but _Dan The Improved_  didn't spare him a glance. He only looked up when Dan wrapped a towel around him.

"Thanks." DTI whispered.

Dan smiled softly, "No problem."

Dan realized his hand was on DTI's shoulder, but the clone seemed comforted so he didn't remove it.

"I'm very sorry, you know?" DTI whispered, "I know how weird this must be. For you. I know it is for me."

"You didn't ask for this."

DTI just shrugged, his face passive. It was _Dan's_ face, but it wasn't. Same nose and eyes, but the way  _Dan The Improved_ wore made it seem almost alien to Dan. He was more vulnerable, yet bold and happy at the same time.

He was his own person.

Dan cleared his throat, and patted DTI's shoulder.

"C'mon, let's get you out of those wet clothes."

Dan gave  _Dan The Improved_ his _Ring_  shirt and a pair of black jeans. He looked pretty good in them.

That thought made Dan laugh. He'd just called _himself_  good looking. How strange.

Once DTI was clean, Phil swooped him up (not literally, of course) and taught him how to play Sims.

Dan couldn't help but think, as he watched his clone out of the corner of his eye, that this was going to turn out interesting....


	2. DTI and I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few people asked for more, so I wrote this...it's a lot shorter, really bad, but now I have more ideas. Grrreeaat.

Dan was in his closet once more, editing a new video. Even though he had _two_ closed doors separating him from them, he could hear Dan The Improved and Phil in the living room playing Twister. It was only two days after DTI had been (Dn hated the term, but there was really no other way to describe it) _born._  Every minute he was with them was a new explosion, a different wall covered in glitter and glue, and a dozen Sim's falling prey to DTI's weird experiments.

A suspicious sound filled the house. Dan took off his headphones so he could listen to it. The noise was so deafening it made him wonder if the world was ending.

It was silence. The only time he ever heard within the past forty-eight hours it was in the middle of the night, when DTI was passed out on the couch and Phil was sleeping soundly in his bed. 

Dan closed his laptop, and dropped the blanket from his shoulders. He was debating to himself whether they were pranking him, or both DTI and Phil had suffered silent deaths at the same unfortunate moment when there was a pounding on his closet door.

"Phil! DTI? What the hell!" Dan cursed.

The pounding stopped, and his closet door swung open. On the other side stood Phil in a panic.

"Dan! Get out here, DTI needs your help!" he urged, grabbing Dan's arm and pulling him to his feet. 

Dan blinked at the sudden change in light, "What? What's happened?"

Phil's eyes were pleading as he dragged his friend into the hall. DTI was spread eagle on the floor, almost completely still.

 _Oh_ , Dan thought, approaching his clone.

"It's his first existential crisis, I wasn't sure what to do..." Phil whispered, running a hand through his hair.

Dan nodded, and waved his hand at Phil.

"What was the cause?"

"Sims."

Dan's stomach dropped. A Sims induced existential crises was one of the worst.

"I've got this." he assured Phil. Phil nodded, shifting from foot to foot for a minute before Dan shot him a look, and he left, shoulders slumped.

As soon as Phil left the hallway, Dan fell down next to DTI. The clone took no notice, but at this level, Dan could see his face. DTI's dark hair fell in over his closed eyes. Strangely, it was longer than Dan's. But still the same. 

DTI groaned, and Dan brushed the hair away. 

The clone's eyes fluttered open, and Dan smiled.

"Sims?" he whispered, laying down on his back next to DTI.

He nodded, and held out his hand. Dan took it in his own, giving it a small squeeze. 

"We're all Sims." DTI croaked, shutting his eyes once more.

"No we're not," Dan said, a hint of doubt creeping into his voice.

"How can you prove that?"

Dan groaned, and DTI mimicked him, and shifted closer to Dan, who wrapped his arms around his stomach.

"I can't believe you would say that! Now I'm thinking of it."

 


End file.
